Selections from /open/bogleg/.quotes

/open/bogleg/.quotes is a file containing (usually) humorous tidbits. Any Wizard can write to this file, so a lot of weirdness gets added along with the funny stuff. Below are excerpts from that file; items that are too obscure or containing bad language have been left out (since we're a PG-13 web site).


Typos

(Wiz) Rookie: i _want_this guy more than sex
(Wiz) Rookie: job even
(Wiz) Rookie: what a typo
(Wiz) Rookie: job -> guy

<Code> Rookie licks anel.
<Code> Rookie: Janel even
<Code> Janel: i'm not anal. =P
(Wiz) Xian: anyone notice Rookie
(Wiz) Xian: and his slips
(Wiz) Xian: are getting worse?
(Wiz) Neko notices Rookie's slip.
(Wiz) Neko: Nice, I like the embroidery.

//Sports// Rookie: i think i could swpie about 20-30 babes
//Sports// Rookie says, "Oops, I meant to say, bases."
//Sports// Blackjack laughs.
//Sports// Blackjack: .quotes time
//Sports// Rookie goes, "$#!%"


Babydoll says: she knows the mud almost inside adnd out.. she is well knwon
               an diked

General boglegs

(wiz) Twilite: I'm taking comments and mail (preferable mail) on how to get
               banished by being obnoxious, deleted, etc.
(wiz) Blackjack: Oh, don't listen to us.
(wiz) Blackjack: Just be yourself.

If everybody were to open up their windows, and turn their air conditioners on, could we end global warming?
           Justin Morgan (Reflex's former best friend)

I'm inclined to say yes, simply based on the fact that he seems NOT to be a totally clueless person.
           Kymri, reviewing a frob application

Look on the bright side. Maybe he'll die.
           Blackjack, reviewing a frob application

Hey, Matt? Is there a way to soft-boot a Reality Engine II?
           Deathdealer, at SGI, after watching an Onyx RE2 crash

Damn it, what do I have to do to get quoted in /open/bogleg?
           Jimbotomy

It's like a slurpee for yuppies.
           Deathdealer's sister after tasting a non-alchoholic margarita


[Yahoo] Minister: I got jurassic park today, and my dad and deathdealer and I
        watched it..
[Yahoo] Minister: theres that funny part where someone goes How many lines of
        code? and the guy goes about 2 million.  Deathjdealer goes "I could do
        it in 1.5" and my dad goes "Oh yah? I could do it in 1 million" and I
        go "I could do it in 1 biiiig looong line"


Zippo shouts: MY GODDAMN FUGAZI 13 SONGS CD IS SCRATCHED TO $#!%!  #@(& WHO
              DID IT?!
Zippo shouts: fuggin favorite goddamn song is #@(&ed to hell!@
Zippo shouts: '.. untraceable, untranslatable, <clik clik> untraceable....'

He's been demoted lots of times, but he just keeps coming back like a nasty venereal disease.
           Nightswimmer on Jester's perpetual self promotions

Do we force people to take an intelligence test to log on as a player here, and if they get above 85, we keep them from logging on?
           Jimbotomy

[Yahoo] Minister: hey kymri you drive like a quadraplegic with a blindfold
           Minister, during the 'no tact' session on Yahoo channel

[Yahoo] Kymri: No I don't. THe quadrapalegic probably drives better
           Kymri's response


(Wiz) Jimbotomy: If a mortal gives me $100, I would frob him/her/it.
(Wiz) Blacklist: i gotta buck fifty on me, what cann aye buy?
(Wiz) Luger: jesus
(Wiz) Luger: id do it fer 5


(Wiz) Jimbotomy: I mean, take Ra.  Supposedly a God-like being, amazingly
      intelligent and charismatic, capable of motivating thousands of people
      to build huge pyramids in his honor, yet he succumbs to three not-so-hot
      soldiers and a scientist.
(Wiz) Blackjack: Well, he's not what he used to be.


[Yahoo] Death: Afk to commit crimes


Burton tells you: whats bog...


Andromeda wears a kiwi costume.
Andromeda says: Now I'm a kiwi!
Blackjack says: Now you're a small and hairy fruit.
Blackjack says: You can interpret that any way you want.


(wiz) Tabitha: I feel special.
(wiz) Blackjack feels up Tabitha.
(wiz) Blackjack: Well, you're not bad...


Meson shouts: go out, right now, and get yourself some black cherry jello,
              go home, sit on yer phat rear, make it, sleep a bit,
              wake up, and enjoy how rocking it is


[Yahoo] Sly: egads, where did these pink panties come from


/* Copyright 1993 Kenneth Frank Henderson Jr. All rights reserved        */


this mud [Mordrick, Tue Nov 22 21:18:24]
+--------------------------------------------------------------------+
This MUD is a mess.


(Wiz) Havock: actually I've managed to stay out of /open/bogleg

We are going to give a little something, a few little years more, to socialism, because socialism is defunct. It dies all by itself. The bad thing is that socialism, being a victim of its ... Did I say socialism?
           Fidel Castro


(Wiz) Meson: when women change flat tires in the rain while i wait, that's
      when i'll start vacuuming and cleanin


[Yahoo] James: second season power rangers, with Lord Zed, is much better


(Wiz) Vagabond: Where can I find Descent?
(Wiz) Caliburn: filez are descent1.zip and descent2.zip
(Wiz) Caliburn: wuarchive.wustl.edu      pub/MSDOS_UPLOADS/descent
(Wiz) Caliburn: ftp.uwp.edu              pub/incoming/games
(Wiz) Caliburn: ftp.funet.fi             pub/msdos/games/
(Wiz) Caliburn: ftp.uml.edu              msdos/games/temp/
(Wiz) Caliburn: ftp.uml.edu              msdos/games/temp/
(Wiz) Caliburn: try one of those sites
(Wiz) Vagabond goes, "Kewl!"
(Wiz) Vagabond: And that's for MS-DOS?


(Wiz) Walker: I, though, had my toe crushed just like a person would crush an
      orange, you know, the sort they grow in florida, where they have
      Disneyworld and that keen Pirates of the Carribean ride, where it looks
      like you're not inside a building, but out in the Bayeau.  Ack.. I think
      I mispelled Buy-oo, much like I mispelled
      Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious when I was a wee lad, but then that's
      to be expected when you're just a young 'un who even has difficulty
      spelling something as simple as "deinonychus," which is a carnivorous
      dinosaur of the dromaeosauridae family (early Cretaceous).  But hey,
      that's why I always preferred theater to that history and science
      stuff..   So anyways, it hurt, but at least I have 9 toes left..
(Wiz) Walker: oh crap.
(Wiz) Walker: damn macros.


<Gossip> Beckster: when the baby boomer target market starts getting really
         old, they'll start having stuff like french-cut depends


[Yahoo] Blackjack takes his pants off, hoping to make Xurbax take off his
        pants, too.
        Xurbax takes his pants off, nearly making you do the same.
[Yahoo] Xurbax: how do you know i'm wearing any pants?


(Wiz) Usedagain: I am Homer of borg.  Resistance is futile.  Prepare
      to...ooooh, donuts.


The ghost of Bogleg says: your dead when i get strong jimbotomy!!!

The Wizzes are the Employees of Eotl. The Mortals are Eotls customers. By law of common sense, Eotl runs because the Mortals are here to play it. Therefore, a mortal does not 'bother' a wizzes work, but rather IS the wizzes work, and more importantly what put the wizz there the first place. Does this make any coherent sence to you, I must ask.
           Calabraun, to Ladylunar (who was too busy debugging something to answer his question about frob applications)
The ghost of Calabraun tells you: Just wanted to let you know I think you are
                                a great wiz. You help mortals out in times of
                                need, and you laugh at all their petty jokes.
                                You act when called upon, and make the
                                impossible possible. You are the greatest and
                                magnificant wiz the
The ghost of Calabraun tells you: mud of Eotl has seen.
The ghost of Calabraun tells you: I really mean that.
The ghost of Calabraun tells you: I really really do.
The ghost of Calabraun tells you: no lies!!


(Wiz) Jimbotomy: He called me nice.  No one gets away with that.


<Gossip> Purge: ahh..I bet it is that ' thatis causign the error
Connection closed by Foreign Host

Despite the detailed ideas, good experience, and beautiful formatting, I cannot bring myself to approve an application containing the phrase, "very unique". This is a pet peeve of mine, and I will explain it here. "Unique" means "one of a kind". If something is unique, it is the only one of its kind...to say something is more unique than another unique object is folly. It is a phrase used by ineloquent people in a futile attempt to express an object's distinctiveness.
Thumbs down.

           Jimbotomy, reviewing a frob application


[Yahoo] Fate laFs at Death.
[Yahoo] Fate deals Death a blow to the head.
[Yahoo] Fate flirts with Death.


<Gossip> Fett: wizzes should be here for mortals, not vice versa


((Newbie)) Tanthalas: can someone incap hannah for me?


<Gossip> Rodex: Is this warrior cant?


[URI] Xian: Guess what my name means in chinese
[URI] Rookie: what?
[URI] Xian: "Risk"
[URI] Rookie wows at it all.
[URI] Catwoman: Kewl...
[URI] Catwoman: Mine means dinner.


The ghost of Efica says: I`m here five #@(&ing minutes and some guy knifes me.
The ghost of Efica says: it`s worse than Binrmingham!


{cant} Genocide: Natural Selection rules.  Kill all the other guilds.
Fluka tells you: What's the natural selection rule?


(Wiz) Wilecoyote: nuke em all, let the driver sort em out..


<Gossip> Assasin: what the #@(& is Taco Bell??


Lister tells you: I hate to ask a wiz this question, but someone pkilled me
                without meaning to.  Oh great and mighty and kind wizard
                Ricorn would you _please_ patch my stats back?


[Yahoo] Xurbax: Remember our motto is "Deny everything"...


((Newbie)) The ghost of Wren: if this is how wizzies behave, then what to
           beginning players have to look forward to...degenerating into
           stupid piles of brainless cack.


Hermes tells Camaro: what is yer alignment?
Camaro tells Hermes: wankish
Hermes tells Camaro: is that good or evil compared to neutral?


<Gossip> Roy: hey! I just typed quit gossip and I got logged off! what gives?!


(Wiz) Jimbotomy: Galaxy tells you: I know, but if you unkill me and stuff i
      swear I won't call you nice ever again,


(Wiz) Kenhw: What the heck is the local delete command!
                                                        [Editor's note: 'rm']

Quinessein tells you: where is rule #1 again


BW% Duncan logged on (god). (aus.Stanford.EDU)
[Yahoo] Rookie kisses Duncan's ass, as comes natural to him.
[Yahoo] Duncan: hey its cheaper than toilet paper


Jester gets a beer from The corpse of Jester.


(Wiz) Quinessein: how do i make coins for myself
(Wiz) Walker: kill a mortal, take a coin, check the file on it, and code up a
      toy that clones them up one by one.


<Code> Iffy Bonzoolie: how much mapping could a map_mapping map if a
       map_mapping could map mappings?


(Wiz) Lynn: where is the test dummy for weapons?
(Wiz) Case: I use /usr/anthrax/tools/dummy.
(Wiz) Blacksilver: Just use Maelstrom
(Wiz) Blacksilver: He needs a good beating


(Wiz) Jezebel: Id appreciate if you kept your fingers to yourself
(Wiz) Blackjack: that's not a finger


(Wiz) Mute: i'm caught in my cocoon and can't get out, moe.
(Wiz) Mute: help
(Wiz) Mute: all i can do is wiz and say.


Case whispers to you: and then I'm gonna take off your bra. . . 
Case says: Oh damn wrong whisper


((Newbie)) Frak: i play because of the friendly people and wizards here


Albcoco tells Tabitha: where are you from?
Tabitha tellx Albcoco: Entesia
Albcoco tells Tabitha: cool!  I'm from Frisco.


((Newbie)) Marcal: do i have to be in the guild I am leaving?


<Gossip> Shadowspirit: I am happy.
<Gossip> Devo: not fer long
<Gossip> Shadowspirit thinks Devo can do whatever the heck he wants to...and
         Shadowspirit will still be happy.
<Gossip> Shadowspirit: Happy Happy joy joy...
<Gossip> The ghost of Shadowspirit grovels for his life back.


(Wiz) Purge: if zak's studliness were sunshine it wouldn't give an ant a
      sunburn.


(Wiz) mAeLsTrOm: yeah well, even us canadians make occasional mistakes
(Wiz) Hannah: Is that what they told your mom, maelstrom :)


Jimbotomy tells you: How about if there are exactly 100 people on and there's
                     a person in the lounge with no "e" in their name?
           The stars forecast termination by resort bus when these conditions prevail.

You tell Wilecoyote: i just hit rock bottom...jerked off, it was good tho :P
Wilecoyote tells you: ;rofl ;five
Wilecoyote tells you: well, maybe not ;five
Wilecoyote tells you: ick.


bogleg